Chapter 68

Chapter 68

"I called you when I was on the way over, no one answered." An Ye strolled out of Chi Tuo’s room. She noticed he had picked up quite a few odd habits over the years — even his bedding was all black.

"My phone… I stuffed it in Lao Bai’s bed." Chi Tuo, in a hurry, rushed into the bathroom again but forgot to bring clothes, so he had no choice but to put back on the shirt he had just taken off to shower.

"You’re not putting on the medicine?" An Ye was holding a bottle of medicinal liquor, looking disgusted. "You wear a black shirt even at home? Are you sick or something?"

Chi Tuo’s chaotic mind silently retorted: at least I had the sense to put on a shirt instead of stepping out in long underwear…

"I…" His brain still hadn’t fully rebooted; for once, he looked a bit dumbfounded, standing there not knowing what to do next.

An Ye looked at him.

He blankly, very honestly, and without the slightest attempt to hide it, said what was on his mind: "Put on the medicine? I can’t reach myself. If you help me, I’ll definitely get aroused."

An Ye: "…"

Chi Tuo: "…"

Chi Tuo closed his eyes, then opened them again, and shut the bedroom door in An Ye’s face. Before closing it, he told her: "Give me ten minutes."

Nine minutes for spacing out, the last minute to change clothes.

They had already crossed the line more than once. From the very first day they reunited — even if An Ye hadn’t been in a normal state of mind back then — strictly speaking, they had already stopped being the innocent friends they were ten years ago.

He knew that.

An Ye knew it even better.

He didn’t bring it up because he was afraid An Ye would reject him.

An Ye didn’t bring it up because she didn’t want to.

His half-shut-down brain had just told her she’d have to take responsibility, and that he’d get aroused — it was like taking two giant cleavers and completely hacking apart the already tattered paper-thin boundary between them.

He had even thought of just blurting it out to An Ye: "An Jiujiu, I’ve liked you for a long time, why don’t you take responsibility for me already — you’ve already seen everything anyway…"

But then he saw the hesitation that quickly flashed through An Ye’s eyes.

And he swallowed the words back down.

Ten minutes — enough time for an impulsive adult to regain their sanity.

That torn piece of paper — they could still pretend it was never ripped.

As long as she didn’t want it, he would absolutely not take another step forward, because he didn’t want to be rejected, and he didn’t want to ruin the comfortable dynamic they had finally managed to build between them.

Chi Tuo closed his eyes again, then opened them, and opened the bedroom door.

An Ye was video chatting with someone.

He had also placed a few cushions under the living room sofa; she was now sitting on one of them, with her phone propped up on the coffee table, chatting while waving to Chi Tuo.

Chi Tuo walked over, deliberately avoiding the camera.

An Ye multitasked, watching his movements while talking to the person on the other end: "…I’m fine. So last week and this week’s footage are all scrapped?"

The voice on the other end was that of a middle-aged man, loud and hearty: "Trial-and-error costs. Fortunately, we spent all that time polishing it today. If we’d just pushed through with the old version, I might’ve had to drag you all back to reshoot anyway."An Ye: "…Oh."

The middle-aged man on the other end said, "Then get some rest first, take a couple days off. I heard from Lao Qian that you switched agents?"

An Ye: "Yes, the one I introduced to you before — Qi Wei."

"Planning to go solo?" The man responded quickly.

An Ye smiled, neither confirming nor denying it: "Just changed agents for now."

Chi Tuo glanced at An Ye.

This style of adult conversation was something An Ye had learned over the past ten years — picked up through clawing her way through an environment full of wolves, with no one around she could really trust.

The middle-aged man on the other end continued talking about things related to the production. An Ye remained serious and focused the whole time. Chi Tuo guessed the person she was speaking to was likely Yang Zhengyi.

At the entrance, there was a large bag and a suitcase — probably what An Ye had brought when she came over.

Chi Tuo didn’t quite understand why she brought so much stuff over in the middle of the night, but he still remembered how she’d been running on gravel roads for hours today in thin-soled cloth shoes. He didn’t have a foot soak tub at home, and he was debating whether to let her use the black bathtub in his room or go downstairs to the convenience store and see if they sold anything suitable.

They’d already crossed the line too many times today. Letting her soak in his room’s tub felt a bit too much…

So he made a gesture toward An Ye, trying to tell her he was heading downstairs.

Who would’ve thought An Ye would respond without hesitation, looking at him as she said, "What?"

"…I’m going downstairs to buy something," Chi Tuo said in a low voice.

"I brought everything," An Ye waved him off. "Don’t bother. I don’t like the stuff you buy anyway."

Chi Tuo: "…Oh."

"Your friend?" Sure enough, Yang Zhengyi asked.

"Yeah." For someone so cagey about whether she was going solo, An Ye showed no hesitation at all on this topic. "I’m staying at his place the next couple days. I already had Xiao Lan give the address to Xiao Li from the crew."

"Alright then," Yang Zhengyi said. "Stay in touch. We might be sending you a new script in the next couple days. You’ll need to do a few test performances and send them over."

An Ye gave an "OK" gesture and hung up the call.

Chi Tuo just stood there dumbly.

He was thinking — so she really didn’t want to break that layer of paper after all.

An Ye stared at him for a while after hanging up. He probably still hadn’t recovered from earlier — when he’d pressed her against the wall, soaked and dripping, with a baseball bat at her throat trying to kill her — the memory had freaked her out so badly she nearly passed out.

He looked like he was trying very hard to suppress a fleeting sense of disappointment.

An Ye knew why.

Chi Tuo wouldn’t pressure her. But if they just kept pretending nothing happened today, she couldn’t get past that in her own heart.

Things between them were no longer the same — whether or not it was just the suspension bridge effect.

Even if she hadn’t completely sorted out her own feelings, dragging things out like this wasn’t fair to Chi Tuo.

"Do you have any alcohol?" An Ye asked him."How’s your alcohol tolerance?" An Ye squatted next to Chi Tuo, admiring his liquor stash.

There was quite a variety — even a fair number of strong spirits. It seemed like a single adult really couldn’t survive without some alcohol. The only person she knew who didn’t stash alcohol was the straightforward Lan Yifang.

"Not bad." Chi Tuo didn’t understand why An Ye wanted to drink when his self-control was already hanging by a thread.

"You’re injured, aren’t you not supposed to drink?" An Ye picked out a bottle of baijiu. While letting it breathe, she pulled out her phone to look up whether someone hit with a bat could drink. After checking, she concluded, "You’ll have cola later."

"…Why?" Chi Tuo moved his arm. "It’s just a few bruises, not a big deal."

"Because Yan Wan was aiming to smash your head in." An Ye glared at him. "Have you considered what would’ve happened if you hadn’t dodged in time? Your skull would be split open."

"…It wouldn’t go that far." Chi Tuo frowned, though his tone stayed soft. "I really was being stupid. Just wanted to end it once and for all…"

An Ye’s expression darkened.

"It won’t happen again." He promised quickly.

An Ye ignored him and sat back down on the cushion by the couch with a cup in hand.

"How’s the contract termination going?" she asked about business first.

"Two more rounds of negotiations should do it. The termination fee should be the number I sent you yesterday," Chi Tuo said. "But the formal termination will have to wait until Huan Zhou’s financial report is out — around May."

Three more months.

"Also, before you leave, you’ll have to shoot two more variety shows. Qi Wei will help negotiate the type." Chi Tuo still grabbed a glass for himself and handed it to An Ye. "Let me have a bit. I need to calm my nerves too."

An Ye poured him just enough to coat the bottom: "You can lick it."

Chi Tuo: "…"

"Yan Wan?" An Ye asked again.

Chi Tuo licked the drink: "Ten days administrative detention for now. During that time, I’ll be pressuring Huan Zhou. He’s got a lot on his plate — both criminal and civil. Zhang Shenggeng has been running the criminal side, and I got Jinding’s criminal lawyers involved too. A case has already been filed. On the civil side, Huan Zhou and Jinding will sue jointly. There’s no way he’s coming back from this — it’s just a matter of time, depending on how the shareholders at Huan Zhou maneuver. After he hit me with that bat, things will move a lot faster."

At least Yan Wan wouldn’t have the resources or time to come after An Ye again.

An Ye took a sip of her drink.

"In that big bag of yours…" Chi Tuo licked his drink twice and looked noticeably calmer. "What’s in there?"

"Daily necessities," An Ye replied. "I’ll be staying here for a while. Qi Wei already listed my place with an agency — people might come by to view it anytime."

Chi Tuo hummed in acknowledgment: "I’ve got your room all set up. The stuff Lan Yifang brought over, I’ve already put it in there. Use the spare activity room as your walk-in closet. There’s not much in there — you can clear it out and put your wardrobe in."

"Yeah, I saw it." An Ye smiled.

Chi Tuo had arranged the room she’d be staying in to be cozy and familiar — basically a replica of her old bedroom, even down to the scent of the perfume.

He’d always been attentive — so considerate it softened the heart.

An Ye swirled her glass and downed what was left, then poured herself a full cup again.

"Take it easy," Chi Tuo said, a bit surprised. This wasn’t the first time An Ye drank with him, and she’d always been very controlled — usually two glasses of wine, each a third full. Today, she was using a regular glass and filling it to the brim each time.

At this rate, his bottle of baijiu would be gone in three pours.

An Ye’s answer was to tilt her head back and down it all in one go.Chi Tuo: “……”

He picked up the bottle with just one glass left and tossed it into the trash, then opened a bottle of mineral water for her.

An Ye didn’t move from her seat.

Chi Tuo sat beside her, his palms slightly sweaty.

He realized An Ye wasn’t planning to keep up the pretense anymore. But he couldn’t tell whether she wanted to reject him… or something else.

“I went to consult Dr. Yang twice,” An Ye suddenly said, without context. The alcohol was hitting her fast—her face was already flushed bright red. “He asked me if I’d ever heard of complex post-traumatic stress disorder. He said a lot of trauma doesn’t come from a single major event, but from long-term, repetitive harm. Those kinds of wounds, struck over and over again, can go deeper and become more complicated than simple PTSD. And many people can’t even explain why they’re so broken.”

“I’m one of those people who can’t explain it.”

“In my memories, there are a lot of broken logical chains. For example, I really resist my mom. But every time I do, I always think—she only has me. If I ignore her, she has no one else in the world who can help her.”

“That kind of push and pull… is exhausting.”

“I also resist myself. Ten years of acting, and I’ve rarely paid attention to how I feel. But when Dr. Yang asked me why, I couldn’t answer. Just resistance—no reason.”

An Ye looked at Chi Tuo.

Chi Tuo was tense.

Because he didn’t know what she was going to say next.

“So, with that same lack of logic… I just feel like the person I am now isn’t suitable for a relationship,” she said.

The breath Chi Tuo had been holding suddenly stuck in his chest. The pain spread slow and deep through his organs.

He downed the last of his drink in one gulp, then got up and took a beer from the fridge, finishing it off.

An Ye quietly watched this man.

He was wearing the loungewear she had bought for him—a pale pink and yellow tracksuit with a little bear face on the hoodie. Of all her colorful teasing, the only one he ever tolerated was this soft yellow.

She knew him very well. She knew the kind of person he was, knew his past, and knew what he felt for her.

She had doubted it at first.

When they reunited, he said he used to like her. But when she asked again, he dodged like a lawyer, evading with technicalities. So she thought—maybe not.

But she wasn’t stupid. No friend treats another friend like this. Not with this kind of heart-baring intensity, this fear of being rejected yet still giving everything.

She still had many doubts. Just like Dr. Yang and Dr. Zuo said, she lacked trust in intimate relationships. She always placed herself too low. She had all the typical symptoms of children from East Asian households. All of that could affect how she handled intimacy.

She might even become the kind of person she hated most in a relationship—like An Huaimin, like Wang Shanshan.

Because those subconscious resentments… they couldn’t be forgotten.

So she resisted love.

But she had truly never resisted Chi Tuo.

Even after being dissected so thoroughly by her therapists, even knowing about the suspension bridge effect, about the risks of over-dependence—she still had never resisted him.

Since An Ye said she wasn’t suitable for a relationship, Chi Tuo hadn’t looked back at her once. He just stood there stiffly, nearly 1.9 meters tall, in that pink and yellow tracksuit, frozen like a statue.

“Chi Tuo,” An Ye was still sitting on the cushion he bought her, looking up at his back, “if you can accept a not-so-healthy beginning… can we… give it a try?”Chi Tuo was holding the beer can, his head buzzing, thinking about what he could possibly do next to get a little closer after this rejection.

He wasn’t heartbroken.

He just felt a bit lost.

And then he heard An Ye’s slightly long, slightly roundabout sentence.

The beer can let out a crunching sound as he crushed a fist-sized dent into it.

Chi Tuo slowly turned around.

An Ye, face flushed red, looked at him and repeated, “Do you want to give it a try?”