Chapter 89

Chapter 89

Xie Xiaoling's group had a very relaxed atmosphere from the very beginning. Lu Yifei's lively personality easily brings out results. He is the type of entertainer that variety shows love to invite, because Xie Xiaoling is his childhood friend, so they are familiar with each other, which made his personality even more lively.

When they were deciding the menu, he kept pushing everyone toward exotic and rare ingredients. However, there was also Yao Ruo in their group, whose professional-level skills in setting up and picking up jokes kept things lively. In the end, they happily settled on a menu with pork stomach wrapped around chicken. At that moment, when everyone was chatting, Chi Tuo, who had been silent all this time, suddenly asked, "How many people in our group can actually cook?"

Silence.

Their group consisted of: one singer, one comedian, one idol, and then a bank clerk and a lawyer.

Except for the lawyer, the other four people all exchanged glances for about a minute. The group leader, number five Xie Xiaoling, cautiously spoke up, "I... can use an air fryer."

Idol Lu Yifei: "I can't cook, but I should be able to chop wood."

Singer Zhao Pi: "I can boil some noodles and heat up water, that's no problem!"

Comedian Yao Ruo: "…I really don’t want to admit it, but I've never stepped foot in a kitchen."

Chi Tuo: "…………"

[Hahahahaha fans of Lu Yifei are saying my idol probably can't chop wood either hahahaha]

[This group has three entertainers, and the two non-celebrity members, number five and number three, don’t seem like they’re familiar with cooking either. Will they just microwave some instant noodles for dinner?]

[Hahahaha I remember Yao Ruo was kicked out by the chef in the last cooking show hahaha, she couldn’t even tell the difference between spring onions and chives.]

[Zhao Pi can’t cook? Then who made the four dishes and soup he posted on Weibo last time?]

[I kind of like number three’s figure hehehe]

[Number three has better looks than Lu Yifei with a mask on covering just his eyes, is that something I can say?]

[?? More weird stuff coming in, no need to bring others down thanks.]

[They’re not even idols, they’re just non-celebrities, what’s the point of comparing?]

[Does Zhao Pi really not have a height of 1.75 meters? How can he be shorter than Lu Yifei?]

[??? What do you mean by shorter than Lu Yifei??? Lu Yifei is 1.82 meters tall, thank you!]

The second group’s livestream room was basically taken over by Lu Yifei’s fans. Zhao Pi and Yao Ruo were the kind of stars with many casual fans but no large-scale fan base. So far, it seemed like no one had been able to stir up any significant discussion.

Qi Wei glanced at the summary report of the water army group and then shifted her focus back to the first group’s livestream.

In front of the camera in the second group’s livestream, everyone was still frozen in place.

"So... does number three know how to cook?" Number five Xie Xiaoling looked at Chi Tuo.

She thought he probably couldn’t. Although he was a lawyer, from the way he had locked down Guan Shengyu earlier this morning, she felt like he might be a lawyer with a more dubious background...

Not someone whose fingers could touch the simplest of kitchen tasks.

Chi Tuo didn’t answer immediately. He looked at number five and calmly asked, "On the map the host gave us earlier, are the fields we’re supposed to tend just the ones behind us?"

"Yes." Number five Xie Xiaoling handed the map to Chi Tuo.

Chi Tuo, tall, bent slightly as he took the map and softly thanked her.

"We've already looked at the fields behind us when we came over," Chi Tuo said. "There’s only Shanghai green, onions, and spinach, but there’s also a lot of shepherd’s purse growing along the edges of those fields. If we need more variety, we can pick some of that.""You even know what onions are!" Yao Ruo exclaimed, "Then number three, you must know how to cook!"

"...A little." Chi Tuo didn’t deny it. "But I can’t make pork stomach wrapped in chicken."

"Then you lead the way!" Lu Yifei waved his hand, "Xie Xiao... Number five looks like the type who would blow up the kitchen..."

He almost let the answer slip.

Everyone fell silent again. Zhao Pi instinctively looked at the camera, and Yao Ruo, with a loud splash, stepped into a puddle at the edge of the field and shouted, "Oh my God, is this a frog?"

Chi Tuo was genuinely not wanting to continue filming. In the first live broadcast, he had to separate from An Ye, and even if they won the cooking challenge, An Ye would still sleep on the high bunk.

He had planned to just slack off.

But his teammates didn’t even recognize onions…

And Lu Yifei had already exposed himself...

Xie Xiaoling also panicked. She stood there, unsure whether to strangle Lu Yifei or strangle herself. Her hand had been outstretched for quite a while.

"Do we really need six dishes tonight, or is three meat dishes and three vegetarian dishes enough?" Chi Tuo took on the responsibility of group leader, his brows slightly twitching.

"Let me check the task card," Yao Ruo read it again, "The original text says: Dinner requires three meat dishes and three vegetarian dishes, and the meat dishes must include chicken."

"Then it’s fine as long as we have three meat and three vegetarian dishes," Chi Tuo concluded. "Let’s make a chicken hotpot."

He wasn’t interested in stir-frying. Usually, when he was alone at home, it was instant noodles or quick-cooked chicken breast. If it weren’t for feeding An Ye, he wouldn’t bother with the kitchen.

But he couldn’t be too lazy; he had to find something simple but flavorful to make.

"Hotpot sounds good!" Lu Yifei, who had just been about to slip up, recovered quickly. "Doesn’t hotpot not require cooking? Just wash the vegetables and throw them in!"

"...We need to catch a chicken to make chicken soup," Chi Tuo said calmly but honestly. "Otherwise, it’s too sloppy."

The others: "..."

[...I can’t bear to watch anymore.]

[Should we pretend we don’t know that Lu Yifei and number five are friends?]

[It only took twenty minutes for this to be exposed, kiddo, how are you ever going to make a name for yourself in this circle?]

[Number three!! Can cook!!!]

[I just came from the first group’s livestream room. The way number three spoke and their rhythm was exactly like An Ye. An Ye also first checked what vegetables were in the field to determine the menu.]

[Not quite the same, though. An Ye is way more enthusiastic than number three (even though it sounds strange), number three gives off this cold vibe like they always want to leave, haha.]

[Hahahaha I get what you mean.]

[But these two are weirdly similar…]

[And their heights match.]

[? Is number three going to debut? This water army is crazy, are Lu Yifei's fans this easy to bully today?]

[No, I've been observing number five... I’ve definitely seen this body shape backstage before.]

[Number three!! Can cook!! I don’t care, I love men who can cook!!]【It's just a hotpot, wake up.】

【Yao Ruo says, he can recognize onions!!!】

Qi Wei: "…"

She had a feeling that nothing would go wrong in the second group’s livestream today, but Chi Tuo, as a non-celebrity, was already getting more attention than Lu Yifei, a popular influencer. To avoid being overwhelmed by the latter’s fans, Qi Wei pulled half of the water army from the second group's livestream and focused on dealing with Guan Shengyu, who was always ready to play the role of a sentimental character.

So far, both groups had decided on their menus for the night. The next step was to gather ingredients. An Ye had already separated from Guan Shengyu, and Chi Tuo’s group only needed to catch a chicken and pick some vegetables before the livestream would wrap up.

Qi Wei, feeling highly stressed, stood up to make herself a cup of coffee.

She had only been gone for five minutes when she saw all the staff running toward the southern village. She vaguely heard them saying that someone had fallen, and it was so chaotic that they weren’t sure if anyone was injured. They also mentioned sending the on-site doctor along.

Qi Wei’s instincts kicked in. She rushed over and started asking people as she ran.

The problem was with catching the chicken.

When the production team first communicated with the guests about the process, they mentioned that the chicken would be caught at a local chicken farm. Everything seemed fine during yesterday’s site inspection. But then, half an hour before the live broadcast today, the village head, wanting to make the chicken farm look cleaner and nicer on camera, accidentally caused the roof to collapse.

So, they had to find a temporary location to catch the chickens: an open space behind the village that had previously been used for raising geese, right next to the mountain reservoir.

Time was tight, and the geese couldn’t all be moved in time, so the team chose some healthy roosters. With the geese taking over the area, the half hour before filming was chaotic, as the roosters and geese kept fighting.

Luckily, the area was large, and the production team quickly set up a flimsy wire fence to separate the chickens from the geese, which made things a little better.

When Chi Tuo arrived at the scene, he saw several geese, clearly just having fought, still ready to continue. They strutted around like street thugs, walking with their heads held high.

He quietly stepped back a couple of paces.

An Ye liked geese for another reason: she was afraid of them. This was a secret only An Ye knew, so much so that she even changed her WeChat name to "Little Goose."

When they were kids, Chi Tuo had been chased and pecked by a goose on the way to An Ye’s grandmother’s house. He couldn’t fight back, and the goose only targeted him. An Ye had tried to draw its attention by throwing stones, but it didn’t help.

He had cried pretty badly that day.

From that moment on, he vowed to never co-exist with geese again. When An Ye got her first phone and registered a WeChat account in her teens, her name was "Little Goose."

…

So, Chi Tuo resigned himself to trying to coexist with geese.

But that was limited to An Ye and stuffed toys, not real geese, especially not these geese that seemed determined to ruin the world.

Chi Tuo took two more steps back.

Zhao Pi looked at him strangely and asked, "Aren’t you going in?"

"No." Chi Tuo casually made up an excuse. "I’ll just block this gap so the chickens don’t escape."

Zhao Pi thought about it and decided it made sense, so he went to another gap closer to the reservoir.

Chi Tuo: "…"

He honestly didn’t understand how a singer with nearly ten years in the industry could be so easily fooled.

The key person for catching the chickens was Lu Yifei.

He was indeed Xie Xiaoling’s close friend and was willing to do anything for the group leader. Rolling up his sleeves, he charged right in.But the rooster, whose roof had just collapsed at home and was then beaten senseless by geese, wasn’t in a particularly good mood either. When it saw people approaching, instead of running away, it charged straight at them. Lu Yifei was in the middle of a chaotic struggle for a minute, and yet he didn’t even manage to grab a single chicken feather.

Xie Xiaoling couldn’t stand watching anymore and wanted to go in. Yao Ruo was pushing the chickens toward the center while also keeping an eye on the two guys blocking the door.

Chi Tuo: "…"

He mentally repeated ten times that this was An Ye’s favorite goose, and that it was delicious when roasted. Then, gritting his teeth, he walked in.

"You two block the door," he told the two girls.

Zhao Pi, standing further away, hadn’t heard what they said. Seeing them changing positions, he moved to another gap closer to the reservoir, which was originally the place where the big geese would go into the water. Today, a large hole had been made there.

The accident happened in an instant.

Lu Yifei, with his lively personality, had probably short-circuited from not catching a chicken, and thought catching a goose wouldn’t be bad, since they needed three meat dishes anyway.

So he ripped off the wire mesh that separated the chickens and geese.

That one pull was like pulling the red cloth in front of a bull — instantly, dozens of large, plump geese that had been hiding in the corners flew out.

The roosters were so frightened they began crowing, and colorful feathers filled the air.

Chi Tuo had just stepped into the chicken coop and found himself surrounded: five geese behind him and three geese in front, all charging toward him, flapping their wings like the geese from his childhood, the ones that had once chased him.

Chi Tuo: "…Shit."

There was a crooked tree beside him. He was tall, and using three fingers, he grabbed a branch and leaped up with all his strength.

He ended up hanging like a gymnast on the tree branch. Meanwhile, the eight geese kept flapping their wings, trying to peck his behind.

The others didn’t fare much better. The two girls managed to escape by the exit, but Lu Yifei was being pecked by the rooster, screaming like a madman. Seeing Chi Tuo hanging from the tree, he tried to follow suit but couldn’t find a tree. His screams only got louder.

"…Can’t you just run to the exit?" Chi Tuo said, extremely exasperated.

The moment he spoke, the geese below seemed to take it as a challenge. They shot up into the air, heading straight for his neck.

Chi Tuo: "…"

He was so startled that he reflexively jumped up. There was another, higher branch just above him, so he instinctively pulled himself up with all his might.

He flew up.

But the branch couldn’t hold his weight, and for a brief moment, Chi Tuo froze mid-air before crashing straight into a goose.

The large white goose scattered in all directions. Chi Tuo felt his clothes tear, and his ankle hurt.

But he didn’t have time to care. He stood up and ran straight toward the reservoir.

Lu Yifei, who had finally managed to grab a rooster, spat out feathers and asked, "What are you doing?"

"Zhao Pi fell," Chi Tuo said in a low voice. "Get someone."

The bullet comments had gone from "hahahaha" to a flood of "Zhao Pi fell!"

The area near the reservoir was lower in elevation. The cameraman following Zhao Pi had been focused on the chaos of the chickens and geese, so only Chi Tuo, suspended in mid-air, saw the scene. Zhao Pi had been chased by a chicken and a goose, and while retreating, his foot slipped, and he fell.

Chi Tuo ran while pulling off his clothes. By the time he reached the reservoir, he dove in, only to realize that the water wasn’t very deep.

The sluice gate must have just been opened to release water.After Zhao Pi fell, he grabbed a dry branch and, seeing Chi Tuo jump down, quickly moved away.

"This place won’t have chickens biting," Zhao Pi said, his lips trembling as he shared his experience with Chi Tuo after he emerged from the water, "Damn, those chickens bite really hard."

Chi Tuo: "…"

Yao Ruo and Xie Xiaoling, who had been rushing over, couldn’t believe what they were hearing.

Lu Yifei, still holding onto a chicken and covered in feathers: "…"

"Aren’t you cold?" The staff rushed over, thinking there was a serious problem. When they saw the two of them huddled in the water not wanting to get out, they looked a little exhausted. "Come on up."

"First get the chickens away," Zhao Pi said, cold but firm.

He was still trying to maintain the show’s effect. As a second or third-tier singer, his space for survival was limited, and he didn’t want to make the situation worse and lose even more resources.

Chi Tuo glanced at Zhao Pi but didn’t say anything.

He didn’t know why, but for some reason, he thought of An Ye. One of the reasons she stopped communicating with him was because of an accident during a variety show. He didn’t know if, at that time, she had been like Zhao Pi, clearly shaken but still trying to force the accident into becoming some kind of show effect.

After everyone got out, the second group’s livestream cut off.

The bullet comments were still flooding in.

[This is too dangerous, what is the production team doing? If the reservoir had been deeper, Zhao Pi would have been gone.]

[It’s only because it wasn’t deep that the production team dared to do this, right? This is great for ratings.]

[That wasn’t even a chicken coop, how could they keep chickens and geese together? The water entry point is definitely for the geese.]

[Poor Zhao Pi, his lips are turning blue in this cold weather.]

[And number three, I was just laughing at him for flying up, and the next moment he’s charging toward the reservoir.]

[Seriously, if the reservoir had been deeper today, the production team would have to bow to number three, otherwise, Zhao Pi would really have been gone.]

[He reacted too quickly, what is number three?]

[Bodyguard?]

[Actually, I have a bold idea, do you guys remember An Ye’s hot search with Qing Ze where they were paired up? Doesn’t the bodyguard there have a height similar to number three?]

[! I think I’ve discovered some kind of incredible secret.]

[Isn’t An Ye’s male friend a lawyer? The one who draws turtles.]

[Not necessarily, who says you can only have one male friend?]

[Number three is gaining so many fans today!!]

[Is he going to debut? A new artist from Huàn Zhòu? He’s a bit older, but it’s a shame he didn’t completely strip earlier, the camera was too quick, his figure is really good.]

[The production team needs to do proper checks next time. If something like this happens again, we won’t be watching anymore.]

[Seriously, can’t they pay attention to safety in outdoor shows?]

[The group next door just caught a fish. I heard someone from the second group fell in the water, and now they aren’t preparing ingredients, they all ran off...][Ah, An Ye runs so fast, her friend is already in the second group, hitting rocks.]

[I feel like she's about to kill someone, that look in her eyes.]

[Alright, the livestream for the group next door has stopped too.]

[So, is there still going to be a live connection?]

[Don’t know, let’s wait for the official Weibo announcement.]

[Ah, this whole situation...]

[Ah, that last look from An Ye was so intense!!! An Ye, when are you going to play a psychopathic killer again?! I want to see!]