Chapter 58

Chapter 58 5. Curve-04

Qi Shanyu’s face showed a hint of hesitation.

He had never been a talkative person, nor was he used to sharing his inner thoughts with others. Since childhood, he had been accustomed to keeping many things in his heart, silently processing them without even his close sister noticing.

But Liu Yi was different from “others” in his mind.

Perhaps it was the alcohol, or perhaps Liu Yi truly was the most special person to him. Qi Shanyu raised his head, finished the martini in his hand, slammed the empty glass on the wooden bar, lowered his head, remained silent for half a minute, and then slowly said, “I know… it’s my own problem…”

Liu Yi handed him the drink he had just sipped, smiling quietly, waiting for him to continue.

“I told you before, my father was also a detective. When I had just entered middle school, he died in the line of duty. Do you remember that?”

Seeing Liu Yi nod, Qi Shanyu continued.

“Actually, before he died, something else happened… it involved my mother…”

Liu Yi could tell that Qi Shanyu didn’t really want to mention it. This incident had been buried in his heart for too long, becoming a mental knot, which tonight, under the influence of alcohol, had cracked open slightly, allowing him to slowly reveal it.

“My mother used to be a middle school Chinese teacher. She named my sister and me.”

Qi Shanyu stared into his glass, but his gaze went beyond the liquid, toward those long-gone people.

“Zhenzhen was often sick as a child, always catching colds and fevers. My father was busy with work and often couldn’t come home for days. So my mother quit her job to stay home and take care of me and my sister…”

In Qi Shanyu’s description, his deceased mother was beautiful, gentle, quiet, with a good temper, rarely raised her voice, loved reading and calligraphy, cooked well, and could knit and bake—perfectly fitting the image of a “virtuous wife and good mother.”

Yet this woman, who had once made Qi Shanyu feel so proud, caused him the greatest hurt just as he was entering adolescence.

“When I had just started middle school, I usually went to a police school instructor after class to learn boxing. But that day, the instructor had hurt his waist, so the class was canceled, and I went home early.”

Seeing that Qi Shanyu’s glass was already empty, Liu Yi stood up to pour another drink, but Qi Shanyu grabbed his sleeve, making him sit back down.

“I came home and found my father’s partner… in our master bedroom… with my mother…”

Though he had suspected something, Liu Yi didn’t know what expression to show upon hearing Qi Shanyu say this.

He understood why Qi Shanyu had buried this as a mental knot, unwilling to tell anyone. Even as a gay man, he could understand that a story of a mother cheating on her father was extremely hard to speak of.

“I remember clearly, when I saw that, my ears were ringing, my mind blank, and I couldn’t think of anything except anger…”

Qi Shanyu grabbed a small bottle from the row on the bar, didn’t care what the French writing on it meant, twisted off the cap, blew into the bottle, and drank more than half in one gulp.

“That man… he had worked with my dad for almost ten years!”

He repeated it, voice trembling from emotion.

“He came to our house often, was kind to me and my sister, even gave me a pair of boxing gloves… I always considered him a close elder, liked and respected him very much…”

The alcohol began to hit, and Qi Shanyu’s vision wobbled irregularly.

But in this semi-intoxicated state, many words he usually couldn’t say were easier to speak.

“He came in uniform that day. He left his outer pants by the bedroom door… I lost my head, pulled the baton from his belt, and smashed it on his head.”

Qi Shanyu finished the small bottle, tossed the empty one aside, and reached for another.

“Luckily I was still young and didn’t know how to use the electric function, otherwise it could have been serious…”

He let out a hoarse chuckle, sliding his fingers over the cap before tremblingly opening another bottle.

“Later, my mother promised me she would explain everything to my dad when he returned… she said, whether he forgave her or not, she wouldn’t lie to him again…”

Qi Shanyu paused, lifted his head, stared at the bar spotlight, and finally choked out,

“But my dad never came back… two days later, he was stabbed under the ribs by a criminal. He didn’t make it to the hospital…”

Liu Yi reached out, intercepted the bottle Qi Shanyu was about to lift, gently took it, poured just enough into a glass to cover the bottom, added several times the water and a few ice cubes, then handed it back, smiling. “It’s vodka, don’t drink it straight.”

By now, Qi Shanyu could no longer taste what he was drinking, mechanically nodded, and accepted the diluted drink.

Through Qi Shanyu’s subsequent narration, Liu Yi learned that Qi Shanyu could not forgive his mother for years afterward because of her infidelity. He chose a boarding high school and then attended the Police University.

All along, Qi Shanyu had hidden this from his sister, Zhenzhen. She couldn’t understand why, after their father’s death, the mother and brother, who should have been close, suddenly froze their relationship. Qi Shanyu refused to go home even during holidays—their bond was almost like strangers.

“I thought I’d never forgive my mother in my life…”

After so many strong drinks, even the watered-down whiskey tasted almost like water to him.

He drank it in one gulp, crushed the ice in his glass with his tongue, numb from the cold, emotions somewhat cleared.

“But later she got sick.”

Qi Shanyu looked at Liu Yi, eyes reddened, cheeks flushed a bright peach color, with a rare vulnerability, making Liu Yi’s heart tremble, nearly reaching out to hold him.

“Pancreatic cancer. By the time it was discovered, surgery was impossible. In less than three months, she passed away.”

Qi Shanyu bit his lip, holding back sobs, inhaling deeply, exhaling long and repeated, finally saying:

“…I really regret not reconciling with her sooner.”

Liu Yi felt no need to ask further.

Qi Shanyu’s adolescent experiences had not only left an unhealed mental knot but also developed a psychological perfectionism—he could not tolerate any emotional betrayal.

The partner he sought had to give absolute loyalty, wholeheartedly, for a lifetime.

In a domestic gay circle without marriage as a guarantee, or children as a tie, people like Qi Shanyu who sought lasting, unwavering true love were outliers.

And Liu Yi?

He asked himself honestly: he didn’t know.

He had never been in a serious relationship. In his mind, he was young, had time to enjoy love, and his personality was too rational, too calm to have ever met someone he could love desperately and want to spend a lifetime with.

Even knowing they were completely different, Liu Yi didn’t want to draw a line and return to ordinary friends.

At least, not yet.

“Here, take this.”

Liu Yi mimicked Qi Shanyu, twisted open a gin bottle, shoved the small bottle into Qi Shanyu’s hand, and picked up the half-full vodka himself. “Drink!”

He raised the bottle first and, with a bold gesture, finished the small bottle in a few gulps.

Neither said more. They sat face to face at the bar, bottles clinking, drinking in silence.

…

…

They lost track of time. Empty bottles accumulated, heads grew dizzy, eyelids heavy.

They slid from the high stools, holding bottles, collapsed onto the carpet, helped each other back to the bedroom, and fell onto the luxurious high bed with black-and-silver sheets.

Side by side, arms and legs entwined, eyes met, seeing their own reflection in each other’s drunken pupils.

Someone leaned in first.

Liu Yi and Qi Shanyu sank into the soft bedding, heads touching, noses brushing, lips pressed together, exchanging a long, passionate kiss.

Until tongues went numb, Liu Yi released the lips he had bruised with sucking, propped himself on one hand, upper body raised slightly.

“If you weren’t so pitiful, I’d eat you up right now…”

He touched Qi Shanyu’s flushed cheeks, mentally adding: of course, I’m also afraid you’d tie me up and throw me on the floor all night.

“Sleep.”

Liu Yi leaned down, kissed the corner of Qi Shanyu’s lips, then pulled the covers over them.

“Whatever happens, we’ll deal with it tomorrow.”