Chapter 80
Chapter 80: The Vegetable-Grabbing Contest Is Really More Exciting Than Martial Arts...
Only two days left until the rice-grabbing contest, and the entire martial arts school was already busy preparing intensively.
Besides practicing stance training every day for half a day without slackening, the rest of the time was spent cleaning.
The green floor tiles and black porch columns were all polished to a shine. Teacher Zheng originally wanted to find someone to repaint the iron gate, but Tang Yang waved her hand and directly replaced it with a new one!
When Chen Ran first arrived, this martial arts school still looked somewhat desolate. In just two days, it was completely refurbished, which made her feel a bit unaccustomed.
“Chef Chen, are you tired? Go take a rest.”
Among all the preparations these days, Chen Ran was the busiest.
She spent three days developing a full vegetarian feast. Even with the recipes provided by the system, it was no simple task.
Moreover, the vegetarian feast for monks was different from ordinary vegetarian dishes; even pungent spices like green onions and garlic were forbidden.
One dish, Dinghu Vegetarian, subtly showed signs of improvement in Chen Ran’s seasoning skills. Another, Golden Radiance Five-Flavors, taught her how to use fried tofu and lion’s mane mushrooms to mimic the texture of meat.
Lion’s mane mushrooms are not only delicious but have a very special feature: their texture is extremely similar to lean meat, almost indistinguishable!
Thus, a fully vegetarian “lion’s head” meatball was also imitated.
The night before the vegetable-grabbing contest, Chen Ran officially prepared five tables of full vegetarian feasts, exhausting the martial arts students who came to help in the kitchen.
“There’s enough food today, everyone be gentle with the newcomers.”
Tang Yang’s words almost moved Old Wang to tears. That night, the students finally ate their fill.
In the following days, due to the martial arts vegetable-grabbing contest, the martial arts students unusually got a few days off. However, no one wanted to leave.
This was a once-in-a-generation grand event! Who would want to miss it? Although there was a livestream, it definitely wasn’t as enjoyable as watching live at the scene.
Even Zhu Chenchen took leave.
Early that morning, just at dawn, Tang Yang got up. As if to respond to the significance of the day, small snowflakes began to fall from the sky.
Everyone else wore down jackets, but only Tang Yang, Teacher Gao, and Teacher Zheng changed into dark red practice uniforms. The three stood quietly at the door in a “品” (character three) formation.
The newly replaced black iron gate stood quietly open. On the freshly cleaned green brick ground, the tiny snowflakes couldn’t settle and slid away whenever the wind blew.
The biting cold air was deeply inhaled into the nose, carrying a faint, bluish fragrance.
The livestream started!
The cook and the cameraman who had sneaked in were especially excited; the cameraman spent half an hour just adjusting the filter.
He deliberately tuned the colors to have a cinematic feel, lowered the camera angle so that Tang Yang’s martial arts master’s billowing robes were only partly shown, and the majority of the screen was filled with the drifting snowflakes against the sky.
“This really feels like a martial arts movie!”
“Really... why not just livestream the martial arts university properly? Why livestream the vegetable-grabbing contest?”
“Why haven’t those few people arrived yet?”
The agreed time was seven o’clock, but Tang Yang had deliberately come half an hour early.
Gradually, the complaints in the bullet comments started to lessen.“Have you noticed? These three teachers are standing completely still, and it’s snowing!”
“Training martial arts really builds cold resistance. My hands have been cold since I was little. Would it help to apprentice?”
At exactly seven o’clock, the others arrived!
This was the biggest event in the martial arts world in decades; no one was late, and no one took it lightly.
Even though it was just the “vegetable-grabbing contest.”
The first to arrive was the heir of the Cheng Style Bagua Palm, Old Master Cheng!
Though his hair and beard were already white, he was as tall and imposing as a black iron tower. He walked over with a few casual steps that seemed to shake the ground.
The heir of Bajiquan was obviously a simple young man. Bai Qing, who brought him along, made Wang Zhaoshan frown.
He secretly complained to Mrs. Wang beside him, “Is Bai Qing stupid? Luckily, it’s just these martial artists competing for vegetables alone. If this young guy sat at our table, no one would get to eat!”
The Shaolin novice monk and the Wudang Taoist priest arrived together. The monk and Taoist entered side by side, their robes fluttering amid the falling snow, making the livestream audience feel like they were watching a martial arts movie.
“Still the same question, why not have a real fight with swords and spears?”
“A real fight with weapons would probably break the livestream rules within three seconds, right?”
The comment section briefly went silent, everyone realizing that was probably true.
The heir of Praying Mantis Fist also wore a Taoist robe. The disciple of Tan-style kicks walked oddly. The heir of Hongquan had a somewhat mixed-race look; when asked, it turned out he had just returned from San Francisco.
Teacher Gao did not participate in this vegetable-grabbing contest but acted as the martial arts consultant providing livestream commentary.
According to Tang Yang’s somewhat mischievous plan, although this martial arts gathering focused on grabbing vegetables, there would still be some exchange.
Just enough to make a point, no injuries allowed—so they would “clap hands” instead.
“Old Master Cheng, please.”
“Director Tang, please.”
Their figures, one in black and one in red, were both lightly dressed. On a cloudy day with light snow and strong wind, the two clasped hands and stared at each other, looking like the opening scene of some movie.
However, the livestream comments didn’t understand.
“Is this a fight? The two just put their hands together and that’s it?”
“I thought ‘clapping hands’ meant exchanging a couple of moves, but it really is just holding hands?”
Teacher Gao glanced at the comments and quietly explained:
“In traditional martial arts fights, the outcome is often death or serious injury. There are many cases of people dying on the stage.”
“The ancestors ultimately developed this ‘clapping hands’ method, which tests not only the strength of the hands but also the stability of the stance.”
“Traditional martial arts fights are not as exciting as movies. Usually, two people maneuver and probe each other for minutes searching for a weakness. Once a weakness is found, they immediately strike decisively and quickly end the fight.”
Therefore, Teacher Gao also sighed, saying that perhaps this martial arts vegetable-grabbing contest could truly be a new opportunity to bring martial arts back into the spotlight!
The number of viewers and comments in the livestream gradually decreased. Teacher Gao chatted with the cook to lighten the mood, but the audience kept dwindling.
Even when Tang Yang stomped hard enough to break the stone tile beneath his foot, only a few hundred more viewers joined briefly before quietly leaving again.Zhou Zhaowu was so angry he gritted his teeth.
“How can you have no patience at all!”
“Look closely! The ancestors’ things require patience! This is a grand scene unseen for decades!”
“Honestly, it’s not very interesting…”
A few comments made Zhou Zhaowu a bit unsettled.
Having stayed outside the martial arts hall for several days, Tang Yang felt it and invited this devoted martial arts fan inside, giving him a seat.
At this moment, he was holding his phone watching the comments. Old Master Cheng, who was already sitting aside drinking tea and resting, peeked over to look at his phone and chatted with a smile.
“You have to let people speak honestly.”
The Shaolin monk also nodded: “Indeed, two people just clasping hands is quite boring. I just played a round of a match-three game.”
Several people glanced sideways, and the monk recited “Amitabha” and embarrassedly laughed, “There’s no time to mess with phones in the temple…”
Zhou Zhaowu noticed that these martial arts seniors surprisingly had little opinion about how quiet the livestream was!
“Seeing everyone say it’s boring, aren’t you really anxious? There aren’t many people practicing martial arts these days…”
“Anxious? Of course I am!” Old Master Cheng laughed heartily, patting Zhou Zhaowu’s shoulder. “That’s why I came after hearing from my granddaughter about this vegetable-grabbing contest! The previous videos of grabbing vegetables were so good!”
He pointed to Tang Yang and the monk beside him: “If the few of us competed, it would definitely be even more entertaining!”
Old Master Cheng sincerely said to Zhou Zhaowu: “Young man, I’ve lived over eighty years. This world belongs to the young people on the comment section. We must always learn from the young, or we’ll be left behind.”
Hearing Old Master Cheng’s words, Zhou Zhaowu finally calmed down a bit.
However, the number of viewers in the livestream kept dropping.
That wasn’t the worst for Zhou Zhaowu; what hurt him most was that a taekwondo gym in Pingshan City also started a livestream!
Compared to this side’s subtle hand-clapping, over there the Koreans were kicking wooden boards vigorously, and their livestream popularity was rising continuously, with viewer numbers already more than ten times higher!
Zhou Zhaowu went over to try to pull viewers back but was immediately banned after just saying a sentence.
However, the next moment, he smelled that intoxicating meat aroma that had haunted him these days.
Chen Ran began cooking!
The vegetable-grabbing contest officially started at 2 p.m., so preparing from this moment was just right.
Not only preparing a fully vegetarian banquet, she also took some time to prepare boxed meals for others in the martial arts hall.
Old-fashioned fried chicken leg with tomato egg rice! Braised lion’s head meatball with minced meat eggplant rice! Guobaorou (crispy sweet and sour pork) with Mapo tofu rice!
Since most of her energy had to be focused on preparing the vegetarian banquet, each boxed meal could only have one meat and one vegetarian dish, which made Chen Ran a bit apologetic.
Although Senior Sister Han and little Taoist Tu Xiaoning were assisting her, she was still the only real chef, so lunch had to be something simple.
“A bit simple, just make do for now. I’ll cook two more dishes for dinner.”
Zhou Zhaowu, who came to pick up the boxed meal, got the braised lion’s head. Taking one bite, he almost swallowed his tongue!
“Simple?”If more dishes were made well, how fragrant would they be?
Zhou Zhaowu, who had just been deeply moved by Old Master Cheng, couldn’t help but look toward the kitchen where the fully vegetarian banquet was being prepared.
The exquisite plating, the lion’s head meatball that looked indistinguishable from the one in his hand…
He really wanted to have a bite too!
The domineering and unique meat aroma of Dinghu Shangsu wafted leisurely out from the kitchen.
This dish was the finale of the fully vegetarian banquet!
Coated with amber-like thick sauce, Chen Ran raised both hands high and forcefully clapped twice beside her ears.
“Serve the dishes!”
The entire vegetarian banquet had 16 dishes. Sixteen martial arts students, all dressed in black with a red belt tied around their waists, stepped in small quick steps and lined up in a long row to serve the dishes all at once.
The specially made stainless steel table for this banquet had a diameter of a full five meters!
With such a table, the dishes naturally could not be placed one by one.
The energized long row reached the stainless steel round table, then suddenly sprang up like green onions pulled from dry ground, lightly landing on the table!
Tu Xiaoning held the Dinghu Shangsu standing at the very center. The five in the middle each held a dish in turn, while the outer ring of ten stood facing outward.
After placing all sixteen dishes one by one, Tu Xiaoning suddenly leapt up, lightly tapping the shoulders of several senior brothers and sisters below, then jumped down. Then the five in the middle followed, and finally the ten all flipped headfirst in a hollow somersault down with him!
Since the start of serving dishes, the livestream’s viewer count began to climb sharply!
Teacher Gao was still explaining beside.
“This stainless steel table and these stainless steel bowls and plates were specially made for this vegetable-grabbing contest. The porcelain chopsticks are also custom-made—extremely brittle and easy to break but very hard in texture, so no shards will fly. Please watch rationally and do not imitate.”
She even went over to break a pair of chopsticks to show the livestream audience: “Soon, the contestants will use chopsticks like these to grab vegetables.”
A flood of comments instantly appeared.
“How can you imitate this?”
“Forget imitating grabbing vegetables, even serving dishes like this can’t be imitated, right?”
“I even screenshotted the ten people flipping down headfirst in a hollow somersault just now. Their mid-air flips were all identical!”
Even Zhou Zhaowu and his martial arts group started complaining: “This is more interesting than the hand-clasping earlier. If they had done this earlier, the livestream wouldn’t have been so outdone by the Koreans.”
“They’re here! Look, everyone is taking their seats!”
Eight martial arts experts had already taken their seats one by one, all except Tang Yang.
Though the morning’s hand-clasping had taken much of her energy, Tang Yang still looked spirited as she cupped her hands to all sides: “Brothers, our vegetable-grabbing contest is now starting. Don’t worry, little junior brother, all the dishes on this table are vegetarian, not even scallions or garlic are used.”
“Everyone here has skills, so there are no restrictions this time! No winners or losers, just hunger or fullness!”
“What a perfect ‘just hunger or fullness’!”
Old Master Cheng was already very hungry. Although advanced in years, his bones and muscles were strong. Usually, he ate three bowls of rice every meal at home.
“Well then, this old man will boast a bit and announce that we start now!”As soon as he finished this announcement, he immediately stretched out his chopsticks toward the Jin Guang Huo Fang dish closest to him!
There is a saying: Tai Chi is cunning, Bagua is slippery, but nothing is more poisonous than the mind.
Old Master Cheng, who practiced Bagua Palm all his life and had noble character, was not at all pedantic in action. Once he announced, he immediately took the initiative!
Slippery—this doesn’t only mean martial arts moves are slick, but also how one deals with others without holding back.
While others were still admiring, he had already observed the whole table carefully!
The Dinghu Shangsu in the center was too far away; to jump there, his old body wouldn’t be at an advantage in agility. The lion’s head nearby looked flavorful and aromatic, but just after he tapped the table, that dish started trembling precariously—it must be very hard to pick up.
The best choice for a strong opening was this Jin Guang Huo Fang!
This Jin Guang Huo Fang looked square and about palm-sized, resembling a piece of braised pork both in appearance and aroma. Picking up a piece with one chopstick—how wonderful!
Moreover, this Jin Guang Huo Fang was right in front of that Bajiquan youngster. If he reached to grab it, he could not only snatch a good dish but also block that youngster!
No matter how you looked at it, the simple young man nearly 1.9 meters tall seemed the most threatening person at the entire table.
Unfortunately, there were too many clever people at this table.
Four pairs of chopsticks simultaneously reached for this dish!
The chopsticks lightly flicking up and down belonged to Old Master Cheng; the forceful and unstoppable ones belonged to the Bajiquan youngster; the Wudang Mountain little Taoist was prying and leveraging chopsticks; and while these three pairs were locked in, Tang Yang directly scooped a piece of meat from below!
Bagua is slippery, but Tai Chi is the most cunning!
The remaining three didn’t continue to entangle over this dish. The first to withdraw was Old Master Cheng, who slyly swung his chopsticks toward the Bajiquan youngster’s side before stepping back.
The Bajiquan youngster thought he was going to grab the Yipin tofu in front of him and defended with his chopsticks, only to accidentally strike the little Taoist’s chopsticks!
Being a boxer, naturally, he couldn’t beat a swordsman. Under the encirclement of the old and young, the first pair of chopsticks at the whole banquet was broken!
At this moment, the experts sitting around the table all tasted their first bite of the dishes.
This first bite’s flavor might be the elegant sweetness of Jin Guang Huo Fang, the fresh and delicate taste of the vegetarian steamed perch shaped and flavored like the real thing, or the multi-layered complexity of the fully vegetarian Buddha Jumps Over the Wall.
No matter which dish they ate, everyone’s speed picking up their next bite quickened.
If the first round of grabbing dishes was still somewhat showy with alliances and maneuvers, the second round looked purely fierce!
When first invited to grab dishes, Old Master Cheng believed his granddaughter but thought there had to be some exaggeration.
What truly moved him was not the legendary, unparalleled culinary skill of Chef Chen Ran, but the videos of Tu Xiaoning grabbing dishes posted on his homepage.
He would never miss any chance to promote martial arts!
But after tasting this bite, he truly understood the core reason why those videos looked so good.
Martial arts were part of it, but simply performing martial arts would never look this good!
The people grabbing dishes in the videos were genuinely desperate to get one more bite…
Just like him now!
However, the most excited at this table was not Old Master Cheng, but the one from Shaolin Temple.
Shaolin’s vegetarian meals cannot be said to be bad, but preparing vegetarian food for the large number of monks daily means they cannot be too meticulous about flavor either.Taking advantage of everyone’s first move focusing on the Bajiquan youngster, he quickly grabbed a lion’s head meatball and pulled it back!
This lion’s head was made almost authentically; from the outside, you could see bits of lean and fatty meat, topped with bright yellow crab roe, and faintly smell the extremely fresh chicken broth aroma.
He boldly took a bite!
After that bite, the little monk looked a bit confused.
Is this really vegetarian food?
He had gone up the mountain since he was very young and had never tasted anything like this.
Such exquisite freshness!
When the masters in the temple had free time, they would also prepare some vegetarian meat dishes for them to eat. But most of the time, you could tell they were made of mushrooms or tofu—where was such a rich aroma?
His mind blanked for a moment, then he fiercely bit into the next mouthful!
The live chat exploded.
“This bald little monk eats fiercely, huh? That huge lion’s head meatball, just two bites and it’s gone? Don’t choke!”
“Isn’t this made of meat? Why is this little monk drooling like this?”
“Grabbing dishes is more exciting to watch!”
Teacher Gao quickly pulled out a cheat sheet Chen Ran gave him and explained anxiously, fearing Shaolin’s reputation would be ruined in the martial arts hall:
“This lion’s head is carefully cooked with monkey head mushrooms, tofu, and shiitake mushrooms. The crab roe on top is salted egg yolk and absolutely contains no meat or animal fat. Brothers and sisters in the chat, please take note.”
But honestly, even with Teacher Gao’s explanation, it was really hard to convince everyone.
Because the little monk who just aggressively ate two bites of the lion’s head now had eyes glowing green, slammed his hand on the table, and leapt up, flying straight toward the Dinghu Shangsu dish in the very center of the table!
“How did the little monk suddenly go wild!”
“Could he really have broken his vegetarian vows…”
Fortunately, such comments were rare. Someone patiently explained in the chat: “Even if a long-time vegetarian suddenly breaks their vows, it wouldn’t be like this; they would feel nauseous and uncomfortable.”
Whether anyone believed it or not, the cameraman’s lens was tightly following the little monk at this moment!
On this huge stainless steel dining table, various dishes were arranged according to rank.
The dishes on the outer edge were relatively easier, with fewer ingredients and less intense aroma.
The dish in the very center—Dinghu Shangsu—since it was first brought out, steadily emitted a meat fragrance that stirred endless fantasies.
The little monk was the first to leap up, but he was not the first to arrive!
Although this dish-grabbing competition was about hunger, the whole event was live-streamed, and no one wanted to fall behind.
Everyone represented their own sects; how could they allow Shaolin to dominate the spotlight?
The young Taoist from Wudang Mountain showed his true skills for the first time, performing the legendary cloud-walking technique with left foot supporting the right. His posture was as graceful as a white crane, arms extended like wild geese!
The disciple inheriting Tan-style leg techniques, who usually kept a low profile, gave a slight spring and practically flew up!
And the Hong Quan (Flood Fist) disciple who had returned from overseas, not known for lower body skill, shouted loudly, slammed his hand heavily on the chair, actually leaving a fist imprint on the stainless steel chair. Using this force, he directly flew toward the very center of the dining table.Old Master Cheng used the “mud-walking” step, sliding up like a loach.
Tang Yang tapped his feet rapidly, surprisingly stomping twelve times on the table leg, and just like that, stepped onto the table.
The Taoist who had practiced Mantis Fist for many years seemed to have longer arms than others; after pushing twice with strength, he climbed onto the table.
Only the Bajiquan boy didn’t know footwork. When the young Taoist lightly tapped his foot, he had just stood on the table but was pushed down immediately.
“Ah! How is he so clumsy!”
At this moment, it was a critical juncture; even Teacher Gao and the cooking guy stopped explaining.
Both the students on-site and the viewers outside the livestream held their breath, not even daring to breathe heavily.
The seven experts all gracefully got on the table, each extending their chopsticks toward the Dinghu Shangsu dish!
During the chopstick-reaching process, the clinking sounds of chopsticks hitting each other were endless, from a clear rhythm at first to a continuous ringing!
The first to lose was the Tan-leg inheritor whose chopstick skill was weak. Although he tried a basic force release, his chopstick was hit thirteen times in the same spot by the Wudang Taoist and broke!
The Tan-leg inheritor’s face seemed red with effort; he pushed off strongly with his foot and jumped back down to the ground from the very center of the table.
“Ah!!”
“Don’t speak! Watch!”
The clinking of chopsticks continued loudly, as if the winner would soon be decided.
But then, the recently defeated Tan-leg inheritor and the Bajiquan boy exchanged a glance, and together, with one hand and one foot each, they forcefully pushed the incredibly heavy stainless steel table outward!
“Awesome!”
“My god! I can’t even breathe!”
“With such skill, if they really fought, there’d probably be blood already!”
“Still, grabbing dishes is better, much better to watch!”
The entire livestream’s viewer count had already reached five digits and was still rising.
At this moment, the six martial artists who had just leapt up were still in the air!
Below, the dining table had already shifted position, and the Bajiquan boy and the Tan-leg inheritor were rushing forward!