Chapter 12: Who Is Whose Second Uncle?

Now that my illness had been cured, my parents felt life had become much more comfortable. The only thing they were still a bit concerned about was what Old Man Jiang had said before leaving, that he would come back and talk to them about me.

They privately tried to figure out what else there could possibly be about me worth talking about. They had also wondered why this Old Man Jiang had been so good to their son for no reason at all, giving him a tiger claw with gold in it, performing rituals for him, and even talking about sending merit his way.

But as long as it was for my good, my parents did not mind. To be honest, their honest and simple nature meant they were not the kind of people who liked scheming or calculating.

Days passed in the blink of an eye, another seven or eight of them. By rough count, it had already been more than half a month since Old Man Jiang left. During this time, the small village remained as peaceful as ever. Aside from the occasional village meeting to pass down higher-level directives, there was nothing major going on.

Speaking of it, this little village had never fought with anyone, nor had anyone ever deliberately reported on anyone else. Things like factional struggles or violence were pure fantasy to the people here.

The only thing that had changed during this time was my weight. I had grown again, becoming a real chubby little baby weighing over 3.75 kilograms (~8.3 lb), almost 4.5 kilograms (~9.9 lb).

One day, Old Man Jiang returned to the village. He still had his hands behind his back, still looked like he was casually scanning other people’s fields and staring at young women passing by. The only difference was that there was another old man walking behind him.

This old man wore a dark blue Zhongshan suit, though not the stiff, formal kind that officials wear. It was just an ordinary one worn by regular people. He also wore a matching cap, the kind with a brim that old men often wore.

It was cold weather, and it was impressive that he could endure it. Even Old Man Jiang only had a dirty padded jacket over his clothes, yet compared to him, this old man was extremely clean from head to toe.

The two of them walking together looked like a beggar and a retired cadre. Naturally, Old Man Jiang was the beggar.

The villagers were familiar with Old Man Jiang. Seeing them walking so brazenly along the village road, they greeted him and also asked curiously, “Old Man Jiang, haven’t seen you for quite a few days. Even shaved your beard? Did you visit relatives? Is this your relative?”

The villagers were simple, but their curiosity was unaffected. After all, life in the mountains was dull, and gossip between households was their main entertainment.

Whenever this happened, Old Man Jiang would nod and say, “Yes, this is my nephew.”

“So old a nephew?”

“Oh, I have a high seniority. I am his second uncle.”

At times like this, the old man behind him would also step forward with a smile and say in a Shaanxi-accented Mandarin, “I am indeed his second uncle. This kid is a bit slow, not very sharp, he does not even understand seniority.”

Although it was Mandarin, the dialect made everyone who heard it freeze for a moment. But they could roughly understand that this old man was actually Old Man Jiang’s second uncle, and that Old Man Jiang was confused about the relationship.

From his appearance, the old man was kind and gentle, with a somewhat learned and refined air. How could he possibly compare to Old Man Jiang, who looked like a wandering drifter? After such exchanges, people generally believed the old man really was his second uncle.

After that, no matter how much Old Man Jiang jumped around or shouted that he was the other man’s second uncle, no one believed him anymore.

After this happened a few times, the whole village quickly spread the news: Old Man Jiang’s second uncle had arrived.

Under such circumstances, when Old Man Jiang stepped into our courtyard, he was clearly fuming, cheeks puffed out, making my parents completely stunned.

But the old man behind him was smiling leisurely, calm and slightly pleased with himself.

“Master Jiang, this is?” my father asked carefully when he saw that Old Man Jiang had brought a friend for help. He did not dare provoke him, especially after having witnessed Old Man Jiang’s abilities earlier, which had completely awed him.

“My nephew.”

“I am his second uncle.”

Two voices answered at the same time. This confused not only my father, but also my mother. What kind of chaotic relationship was this? How could someone be both uncle and nephew at the same time?

This time Old Man Jiang snapped. He jumped up and cursed loudly, “You bald donkey, you have been taking advantage of me all the way here and still not satisfied? They say monks do not lie, so how did I end up with a lying bald donkey like you? I am going to fight you!”

The old monk did not back down either and immediately shot back in Shaanxi dialect, “What are you talking about, what are you talking about? Who knows who was lying first, saying he is my second uncle. I am not stupid, why should I let you do this?”

Old Man Jiang at least was speaking Sichuan dialect now, which my parents could still understand. But once the monk started speaking, they were completely lost.

Seeing this, the monk realized my parents could not understand his dialect and immediately switched to standard Mandarin.

“I have been unfortunate in choosing friends, but I cannot bear to see my friend fall into depravity. Along the way he kept committing verbal wrongdoing. In order to help him turn back to the right path in time, I have administered a small lesson so he may understand that cause and effect always bring consequences. If he insists on being my second uncle, then he must first experience what it feels like for me to be his second uncle.”

My parents did not know whether to laugh or cry. At first this monk had the demeanor of an expert, but somehow it all ended up circling back to the second uncle matter again.

At that moment Old Man Jiang had already jumped forward, shouting, “Hui Jue, you bald donkey, you are just relying on your appearance being a little better. I am going to fight you!”

Seeing the two old men about to come to blows, my parents quickly rushed in to pull and persuade them. It took great effort to separate these two extremely unreliable elders.

Of course, they had always been like this, like quarrelsome friends who could not get along, not truly angry or intending to fight seriously. Otherwise, my parents would never have been able to separate them.

The two old men stopped arguing and huffed as they entered the main room. Just after sitting down, Old Man Jiang said to my mother, “We came straight here after traveling a long way. I am hungry. Cook something.”

My mother quickly agreed and was thinking about what to prepare when Old Man Jiang immediately added, “Do not make it too complicated. Meat and alcohol are fine, any kind of meat will do. As for this old man, give him some vegetarian dishes.”

The old man immediately stretched his neck and said, “Eggs are fine, eggs are fine.”

A monk even eats eggs? Not only my mother, even my father, who was pouring tea, froze.

Old Man Jiang sneered, “How new. Since when do monks eat eggs?”

“You understand nothing. Which country’s monks do not eat some meat? Do you know what is called ‘three pure meats’? There is also ‘five pure meats’. What is wrong with eating eggs? Worst case, I will recite sutras a few more times and cleanse the karma.”

The old monk named Hui Jue refused to be outdone at all.

“Then go cleanse your verbal karma first!”

“What does it have to do with you?”

Just as they were about to argue again, my father hurried to intervene. Dealing with these two living treasures was truly exhausting. If they were allowed to continue, they might tear the house down.

In the end, my mother slaughtered a chicken, made tofu pudding, stir fried a few vegetable dishes, and even boiled some eggs specially for the two old men. Only then did they finally settle down, probably satisfied with the food and no longer interested in arguing.

After eating, the two old men sat in the main room drinking tea while my parents accompanied them. Only then did Old Man Jiang slowly begin to speak.

“The wandering ghosts we collected last time are still sealed inside the soul suppression talisman. This time I brought this bald donkey here specifically to help transcend them.”

“In terms of saving beings, our Buddhist school ranks second, no one dares claim first,” the old monk Hui Jue said proudly in perfect Mandarin, his smug expression impossible to hide.

“We are talking about serious matters. Do you have to start arguing again?” Old Man Jiang snapped immediately.

These two old men clearly respected each other’s abilities, yet every time they met they insisted on bickering. The main reason was that each wanted to prove their own path and sect was the strongest.

Strangely, the monk did not argue this time. Instead, he simply recited a Buddha’s name and fell silent.

Old Man Jiang took a sip of tea and continued, “Transcending these wandering ghosts counts as a merit for Third Son. Since they were transcended because of him, it can also reduce some of the calamities in his future fate.”

So that was it.

My parents felt both moved and nervous. Moved that Old Man Jiang had gone so far as to invite a high monk to transcend wandering spirits just to earn merit for their son, and nervous because someone as capable as Old Man Jiang himself would only invite someone even more extraordinary.