Chapter 51: Cracking Walnuts

Zhou You had lived for more than twenty years, and this was the first time he had heard such a bizarre request.

Before he could ask anything, however, the three heads continued speaking.

“Little brother, it looks like you were captured by that thing too. But unlike everyone else, you seem to have been lucky enough not to get killed. Of course, it might also be planning to raise you first, then turn you into a pig.”

“But no matter what, you certainly don’t want to die like that.”

At that point, all three heads burst out laughing together.

“Therefore, I can help you.”

“That thing’s kitchen is right outside the door, and the door has been sealed with restrictions. There is absolutely no way you’ll escape from its grasp. If you don’t want to be eaten, there’s only one method. You must find a way to mix some foreign substance into its food and strike first.”

After saying that, all the heads fell silent, and Zhou You finally had a chance to ask his question.

“Then may I ask, how exactly do I obtain this ‘foreign substance’?”

The heads merely stared at him.

A few seconds later, Zhou You suddenly laughed as well.

“I see. That foreign substance must have something to do with killing two of you, right?”

The three of them immediately grinned.

“Talking with smart people really is convenient. That’s right. Two of my three heads have already been contaminated and are about to turn into monsters. They would be perfect for poisoning that thing. You only need to crack open my skull and take out the...”

Before the head could finish speaking, it suddenly noticed a certain eager expression.

At once, two of the three heads tightly shut their mouths. Only one frowned and said,

“Smart man, you aren’t thinking of killing all three of us and mixing us all into the pig-headed monster’s food, are you? Don’t forget, only I know the proper mixing method and proportions. Even if you kill all of us, it will be useless.”

“...How could that be? Do I look like that kind of person?”

Zhou You coughed lightly and put on the face of an upright gentleman.

“Then tell me, how am I supposed to know which two of you are going to become monsters?”

The three heads exchanged glances, then laughed together.

“Definitely not me.”

The three voices paused briefly, then immediately pointed fingers at one another.

“It’s definitely this one.”

Zhou You was rendered speechless.

In the end, it was the elderly head that spoke.

“This isn’t actually difficult. The two heads that are about to become demon ghosts aren’t quite right in the head anymore. There are also quite a few abnormal things mixed into them. Just chat with us for a while. You might discover the flaws.”

Could this be another side quest?

Zhou You waited for quite a while, but no notification from the System appeared. In the end, he could only shake his head. After searching around, he found a hammer and walked over to the first head, the young man.

“Let’s start with a simple question. Brother, what’s your identity? Where do you come from?”

The young man’s head immediately replied,

“I was originally a Daoist priest from Youtai Mountain in Cangzhou. With the world in chaos and demons running rampant, I went down the mountain to eliminate evil and uphold justice. Who could have expected that instead of slaying demons, I would die at their hands? Even in death I found no peace. That monster forcibly split my head into three pieces, and then this pig-headed monster picked me up. As a result, we became nothing more than a decoration on this table and have endured until now.”

Zhou You neither agreed nor disagreed. He turned toward the middle-aged man.

“And what about you? What’s your identity?”

The middle-aged man coughed awkwardly before speaking.

“Well, I was originally a hunter living in the mountains. Life was pretty comfortable, with no worries about food or clothing. Then disaster fell from the sky for no reason at all. Somehow I offended a strange being. It tore my body into pieces but wouldn’t let me die. My head was split into three parts. In the end, this pig-headed monster made some kind of deal with that strange being and brought me back here. Zhou, my young friend, everything I’m saying is true.”

Zhou You still showed no reaction and instead turned to the third person.

“Old sir, what’s your identity?”

The elderly man replied coldly,

“My identity is simple. I am the Temple Master of Yunjing Temple on Youtai Mountain. As for these three heads, they are the result of my own cultivation of the Ghost Treasury Four Tribulations. During my cultivation, an enemy ambushed me, leaving me in this state. After severing my three heads, that enemy gave me to this pig-headed monster. He intended for me to die in a monster’s belly as a final humiliation. Who would have thought that the pig-headed monster wouldn’t eat me and would instead place me here as a decoration?”

At that point, all three had finished speaking.

Zhou You shook his head and walked straight to the middle-aged man.

The man had only just begun to display a flattering smile when Zhou You swung the hammer down without the slightest hesitation.

Crack.

The skull shattered as easily as papier-mâché.

Yet what emerged was not a normal human brain.

Instead, it was the shriveled corpse of a purple-blue infant.

“There are so many holes in your story that even the village idiot next door to my house could spot them. Cangzhou has been suffering from drought for a whole year. Even if you’re a hunter and don’t rely on farmland, there’s no way you could still be living comfortably. More importantly, how could a mere hunter know so much about these supernatural matters? And one more thing, I never told you my name. How did you know it?”

Then Zhou You walked over to the young man’s head.

“Your story didn’t really have any obvious flaws. It even sounded fairly self-consistent.”

Before the other party could reveal a relieved smile, Zhou You continued.

“But what was that last thing you said again?”

“...Endured until now?”

“The sentence before that.”

“As a result, we became nothing more than a decoration on this table.”

“The problem is, you’ve always referred to yourself as ‘I,’ not ‘we,’ haven’t you?”

Before the young man could respond, the hammer was already raised high.

Then it smashed down directly!

The skull shattered just as lightly as a thin walnut shell.

Once again, there was no brain inside.

Instead, a dead centipede lay coiled within the empty cranial cavity.

Zhou You walked over to the final human head.

The old man swept a cold gaze across him before speaking.

“What, are you going to smash this old man too?”

Zhou You remained silent for several seconds. Then he tossed the hammer aside and suddenly laughed.

“How could that be? By the process of elimination, you’re the last one left. No matter what, you have to be the real one. So then, old sir, how exactly are you going to help me?”

The white-haired head snorted.

“Simple. I can pass on an alchemical formula that will turn the contents of those two heads into a kind of gu poison. But I have a few conditions.”

The old Daoist paused before continuing.

“First, you must send me back to the temple. My Dharma Body should not have been destroyed yet. Once my head is sewn back onto my body, I won’t exactly return from the dead, but I should at least be able to survive for a few more years. This will benefit you as well. Cangzhou is now overrun with demons and monsters, with strange horrors everywhere. If you stay in my temple, at the very least you won’t have to worry about being eaten or turned into a monster someday.”

“Second, the Dao is not transmitted to outsiders. Even an alchemical formula cannot be passed on freely. Therefore, you must enter my sect and inherit my cultivation lineage. Are you willing?”

“...Well, old sir, I should let you know that I’ve been free and carefree all my life. I’m afraid I can’t really tolerate the restrictions of a sect...”

The old man merely cast him a glance.

There was no room for negotiation.

At this point, what else could Zhou You say?

It was only a bow. It wasn’t as if it would cost him a piece of flesh.

He clasped his hands together, bent forward, and gave a respectful salute.

“All right then, Mas...”