Chapter 86: Morbid Obesity

Zhou You turned around with a bright smile on his face.

But the next instant, his expression froze.

Holy hell, a pig demon!

When did you come back to life??

He rubbed his eyes and looked more carefully.

Only then did he realize.

This was not a pig demon, but an abnormally obese fat man.

At first glance, the man weighed around 200 kilograms (~441 lb). Calling him spherical would not be entirely accurate, but he was certainly headed in that direction. His belly protruded massively outward, while his head was astonishingly small, as though it had been swallowed by the mountain of fat surrounding it.

At this moment, this unbelievably obese man was dressed in a dark green official robe. Though his rank was not high, the materials were extraordinarily refined. The fabric flowed as softly as thin clouds, and the patterns curled across it like leaping carp. Even though Zhou You knew little about such things, one glance was enough to tell him:

This definitely wasn’t cheap.

The luxuriously dressed giant fat man trudged with heavy footsteps to the innermost part of the room and dropped himself into a grand master’s chair that had obviously been reinforced.

The impact felt like an earthquake.

His enormous body was forcibly squeezed into the chair. Then the fat man wriggled several more times, stuffing the remaining bulges of exposed flesh inside before finally letting out a satisfied sigh.

“What was I saying just now? Ah yes. You’re the envoy sent by Madam Bone?”

Zhou You looked at that mountain of flesh, literally a mountain of flesh, and replied with a smile.

“Yes, I am. May I ask...”

Unexpectedly, before he could finish speaking, the fat man immediately let out a roar.

“Do you take this official for a fool? Every time Madam Bone sends someone here, it’s a demon. You’re a damned human, and you dare call yourself an envoy?”

After speaking, the fat man slammed the table, causing the jade Buddhist carvings atop it to tremble wildly.

“Men! Drag this fraud into the disposal room. Aren’t we still short on offerings for the Star Lord Grand Duke Jupiter in a few days? Use him to make up the difference. And that fellow on duty today... Sun Jiu, was it? Making me come all the way here over this trivial nonsense. Give him a whipping afterward too. Damn it, do you bastards have any idea how much effort it takes for me to move around?”

Seeing the bailiffs outside about to rush in, Zhou You sighed softly and chose to activate the Yin Ghost Feeding Chant.

The heart of White Dew Spitting Silk had already been used to trick Madam Bone to her death. If he wanted to put on a supernatural act now, this was the only spell available to him.

A chilly yin aura gradually coiled around his body, concealing the yang energy that belonged to a living human. At the same time, however, Zhou You felt that something extremely important within his body was also being carried away.

Fortunately, Soulstones could offset the effect. Otherwise, he would have suffered a huge loss.

Now, with a face as pale as a corpse, Zhou You smiled at the fat man.

“My apologies. I forgot to reveal my true form earlier. Can you believe me now?”

The bailiffs who had already entered immediately halted.

Compared with those bewildered bailiffs, the fat man on the grand master’s chair remained completely calm. He simply stared at Zhou You and said,

“Judging from this yin aura, you’re indeed a demon. But what proof do you have that you’re one of Madam Bone’s subordinates?”

Zhou You gave no answer. Instead, he pulled a golden hairpin from his robes.

Before this, he had deliberately looted Madam Bone’s private chambers. Although he had not found any useful equipment or treasures, he had at least obtained one of the ornaments she frequently wore.

The moment the fat man saw it, he inhaled sharply.

Then, all at once, a dazzling smile bloomed across his face.

“Oh my, oh my, little brother, we’ve really flooded the Dragon King Temple by mistake. You idiots, why are you still standing there like wooden clubs? Hurry up and bring a seat for our honored guest!”

This fat man was none other than the county magistrate. The drastic change in attitude was like a face-changing performance from Sichuan opera. Even Zhou You’s composure could not process it immediately.

He watched as the bailiffs transformed from armed enforcers into flattering servants. They practically escorted and coaxed him into a seat, then presented him with a plate of exquisite pastries. They even placed beside him a pot of clear tea, something rarely seen in these troubled times.

“Little brother, I don’t know whether demons enjoy this kind of tea, but I spent considerable effort acquiring this Luzhou Liu’an tea. Whether it tastes good is one thing, but each liang costs this much.”

The fat magistrate gestured an exaggerated number, then took the first sip himself. A look of bliss spread across his face.

“Tsk. Give it a try too. This is the taste of money.”

Zhou You also raised his teacup and took a small sip.

The tea entered with a delicate fragrance and left a rich, sweet aftertaste. It truly was an excellent tea.

But he did not linger over it. Setting down the cup, he smiled and said,

“County Magistrate...”

“Tsk, that’s too distant.”

The fat magistrate waved his hand.

“I don’t know how you demons count your age, but my face looks older than yours, and my surname is Shi. Just call me Old Brother Shi.”

“...Then, Old Brother Shi, I came here this time in order to...”

Yet once again, his words were interrupted.

Magistrate Shi cleared his throat and unexpectedly revealed a trace of bashfulness.

“The reason can wait. The main thing is... how has Madam Bone been lately?”

Well, she’s doing all right. According to the old Daoist, she’s probably already been ground into dust by the enraged White Dew Spitting Silk. If you hurry over, you might still find a few scraps left.

Zhou You coughed lightly and asked,

“Why does Old Brother Shi ask?”

Magistrate Shi displayed the sort of smile every man understood.

“I’ve been distant from Madam for a long time, and I was hoping to reconnect. You know how it is, little brother. Madam’s beauty is unmatched. Any man would want to get close to her. Unfortunately, she only likes strong, robust men. My figure is just a tiny bit on the plump side, so she’s always been rather indifferent toward me. No matter what gifts I send, she often rejects them. So I was hoping to use the occasion of the Star Lord’s birthday celebration to prepare a gift for her as well...”

Another simp.

And most likely one who had no idea what Madam Bone’s true appearance actually looked like.

Zhou You shook his head and replied,

“Madam has been occupied with important matters recently. She even took away mountain demons like Lord Qingshan. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have sent a zombie like me to deliver messages. As for her current situation... to be honest, I don’t really know.”

When he heard the name Lord Qingshan, Magistrate Shi’s eyes visibly relaxed, and the last trace of caution disappeared. But when he heard that Madam Bone’s situation was unknown, disappointment appeared on his face.

In the end, he could only sigh and say,

“If fate keeps me from Madam, then so be it. We’ll have chances to meet again later anyway. What exactly did you come here for, little brother?”

Zhou You answered with a smile.

“It’s nothing particularly important. I came under Madam’s orders mainly to handle two matters. First, to check whether there have been any problems with the Animal Transformation operation. Second, because there have been too many merchant caravans lately, the inn’s food reserves have been completely depleted. So I wanted to see whether the county office could provide some additional supplies.”